hands_of_blu | Map: Badwater Basin. Payload.

Map: Badwater Basin. Payload.

BLU operations in the area have met with horrific resistance from RED of late. Steps, as they say, had to be taken. When the intelligence reports last filched from under RED's nose indicated the RED team had concentrated vast quantities of infrastructure in a single location accessible by rail from an old, forgotten BLU listening post...

Well. Who are the BLU field operatives to ignore an opportunity dropped in their lap?

Time for some serious mayhem.

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Hey, they don't know that for certain.

(Do they?)

"Just respawned, Private!" Barks the Spy!Soldier. "Those RED team ladies are going to regret ever being BORN!"

Downside of pretending to be a Soldier? All the yelling you have to do.

They don't know for sure, no, but it doesn't make the Heavy any less suspicious. Fortunately for the Spy, he's not about to waste precious bullets on a teammate -- that's the Pyro's job.

The Heavy laughs, loudly. "Da! But first, forward glorious cart!"

Spy helps himself up to stand on top of the cart, watching their surroundings carefully. If some other REDs come along and distract the Heavy, he'll feel comfortable enough with those odds to get behind the man unnoticed.

Perhaps the RED Soldier rocket jumping his way towards them will do nicely?

"Comrade, keel RED or push cart! Is not chair for sitting!" the Heavy bellows, backing into the cart with his bum to push it forward.

You make this too easy, Herr Heavy.

Spy leans towards the back of the cart to stick his knife through the vertebra at Heavy's neck, breaking his disguise.

The Soldier up ahead is loosing a rocket at them. What? Sometimes Spy misses!

Sometimes, and today would be one of these times. He's just a fraction off, and knifing is one of the times that almost doesn't count.

"Eh?" says the Heavy, confused, and then he turns to see the RED Spy. His eyes grow as big as saucers, and he whirls his gun around with a snarl of rage. "I VILLL GET YOU, LEETLE SPY!"

Spy's face flashes pure alarm as he realizes he suddenly has a very angry Heavy in front of him.

"I sink not," he manages, recovering and rolling off the cart and out of sight.

Okay, plan: cloak, circle back around as another class, kill everyone.

He should probably be going farther, as Mia's now spy checking everyone.

And lighting up any RED that get to her.

"Mwahahahaha!" the Heavy cackles with glee. "Sank you, Pyroh! You are credit to team!"

Pyros! He hates Pyros!

Spy flees, knowing he's screwed. Last time there was a medpac in reach, but he knows there's nothing nearby now.

Does he hate Heavies as well? Just because Mia's stepped in doesn't mean that this Heavy's stopped trying to riddle the air with a million bullet holes.

Let's say he hates all BLUs and leave it at that, hmm?

"Narrrgh," Spy groans as he falls dead again.

Teja turns up beside him, and shoots his own rocket launcher at the RED counterpart coming towards them.

"You can push," he says to the other BLU soldier on the cart, "and I can shoot!"

That BLU Soldier turned out to be a RED Spy, who's now playing 'don't turn me into Swiss cheese!' with the Heavy.

The RED Soldier dodges the rocket. "Maggots!" He yells, firing again at Teja's feet.

More REDs are starting to pour over the hill ahead of them, streaming towards the cart. Closest is a Heavy-Medic pair and a Demoman, already launching grenades at the lot of them.

Teja shoots his remaining three rockets at the advancing enemy, then ducks behind the cart to reload the rocket launcher, hoping for time to do so before the hordes come pouring at him, and he will have to take a shovel to them.

The unfortunate Soldier steps out of the path of one rocket and directly into another's, gibbing him immediately. A shower of Soldier parts rains down, but Teja's probably distracted by the flashing red grenades that just rolled under the cart and stopped between his feet.

"Time to run, cowards!" crows the Heavy, triumphant.

Edited 2009-04-20 01:36 (UTC)

Teja tries to kick the flashing charges away, but while the first two fly away as planned, the third explodes upon his touch.

There is brief darkness, then he finds himself once more in the room he entered first.

So, re-equip, and join his team again!

As soon as Teja falls, Mia is over there to take on the Demo with a compression blast upon his next launch of explosives.

The Heavy, meanwhile, has started singing. It's not pretty, and it's certainly not quiet, but it's what was used back in Mother Russia to get people moving and keep them moving. And if that's not a good reason, than nothing is.

It sounds just like this.

The song, alas, is rudely interrupted by the echoing CRACK of a sniper rifle being fired.

The BLU Medic never saw it coming.

"Vhere is team?" the Heavy cries. "Must kill leetle Sniper and push tiny cart!"

Luckily, the not-quite-siren call is heard, and a freshly-respawned Engineer comes barreling out to the tunnel.

"Got a job to do, ole buddy! Gonna fix you up with a teleport and a dispenser! Just watch my back, got it?"

The grenades fly back towards the Demoman, exploding at his feet. The man staggers, firing a grenade at his feet and sending his pieces to oblivion.

This is why you don't drink and play with explosives, folks.

The Heavy and Medic are in range now, though, and the big Russian spins up and opens fire, laughing.

The BLU Engineer wails on his creations with abandon, until both the dispenser and the teleport are standing tall.

The Heavy grunts when he sees his counterpart spinning up, but luckily there's a Medic coming up from the respawn in time, working up an uber.

"Herr Heavy! How are da front lines holding up?" he asks, before switching to heal the Engineer with his medigun.

He'll have to wait a moment to answer, as there's a RED Heavy and Medic duo coming towards them. Mia rushes up.

"Cover me!" is the muffled sound from under her mask as she goes to take out the RED Medic first.

That's weird. Why is everything kind of blue? And she feels more than fit to take both REDs out?

She doesn't stop firing, but she does briefly notice the BLU Medic. So that's how he's covering her!

He's being smart about it, too, charging ahead to draw their fire so Mia's free to take care of them.

"Zhere is a sentry up ahead! We should move to take care of it vonce zhey are taken care of!"

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